Yea i was forced to be isolated I couldn’t go to parties I couldn’t go to a friends house i hated my life
Thank you for this. 💙
I’m almost 24 and I’m trying to go beyond this situation, I have an online work and live with my mother because my brother is a piece of shit just like my dad and I feel so guilty about my mother’s sadness and constant bitterness towards life, but I’ve never been able to have a healthy relationship and seek damaging sexual encounters because I can’t handle healthy relationships, I just realized that because my mother had such an unfair sexual life and relationship, I somehow feel that I cannot have one either.
My mother brings up my father's death all the time
My mother would always walk around the house naked, she would take a number 2 in front of me, she would have me watch her put a tampon inside her, I would watch her pour baby powder on her genitals…some things I could have gone without seeing. Not to mention she was nosey af. She would always search my room and she always had to know everything about me and my body. I found it very invasive.
I dislike how much I relate to this
What Rewiredsoul thinks he is
Basically the parents in movie The Blockers.
Emotional incest can absoloutely be sexually abusive though, it can be what happens before a parent goes over to physical incest. Like my father always told me he finds me hot, or sexually arousing, that if he was younger he'd have sex with me, he would also treat me like I was a romantic partner rather than his child – this then went over into actual molestation and sexual abuse, but the emotional incest was present during all of it, it wasnt just physical abuse, it was also the aspect of how he blurred the boundaries between us emotionally, he was needy, he would often fluctate being total neglect, and then between flirting with me, between unloading his own issues on me when he was drunk having me pick him up emotionally, with him crying in my arms and telling me abt his own fucked up childhood – and this is connected, he made me feel responsible for him and that sense of responsibility he made me feel for him, he also tried to use to get me to consent to sexual activity with him, cuz he knew I felt to responsible for him.
My mom did the things you mentioned in the video though, so there was emotional incest too, but it wasnt sexualized. My mom was the one that always wanted me to give her affection & love, and that had me pick her up from feeling suicidal, etc. Shed also in my childhood tell me she was witholding sex from my father to try to get him to be a more adequate partner (needs he then tried to fill w/ me, rlly full circle of trauma there) but alone her telling me this was pretty icky. She shared all kinds of her own baggage with me, and it rlly made me avoidant & anxious person, which later she then was punishing me for, for having developed into.
Can you add to this with what it looks like once the child becomes an adult? I've been researching and it also seems like the term parentification. It's like some of these things don't fit but some of those don't fit. Like if you mashed them together what would that be? Does it just look different when the child becomes an adult?
I didn’t know this was a thing. My dad did some of this stuff
Oh. It's nice that I accidentally coined the term properly when I used it to describe my entire extended family dynamic.
Barbarossaaa made a video about this from the male perspective like 6 years ago. He called it "spousification"
One of us breaks down the others carry
That is our way
SOMEONE TRANSLATE THIS VIDEO INTO CHINESE/VIETNAMESE SO MY PARENTS CAN UNDERSTAND! THANK YOU!
Hello all. So this is a very important topic and one that I’ve studied. If you would like to learn more about this very real form of abuse, I highly recommend the books “Silently Seduced” by Dr. Ken Adams, and also “When He’s Married to Mom” by Dr. Ken Adams. Finally the book, “The Emotional Syndrome-What to do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life” by Dr. Patricia Love. I promise these books will shed a TREMENDOUS amount of light on this very critical subject. They all can be ordered through Amazon or even Google books. I think it’s awesome that Kati posted a video on this subject matter, as this form of abuse impacts more people than you think!
Hi Kati could you please do a video on life after dealing with a parent like this and long term effects! Also how to progress and move on with life after! 💗 Thank you I would really appreciate it xxxx
This is blowing my mind! This is my childhood with my Mother! I always just thought of her as Co-Dependent, and her & I as being Enmeshed up until I graduated University (Right now, I’m 40 & she’s 73). She has struggled with me leaving home 20 years ago, not being there to cater to her. But now that I’ve started the long healing journey for my C-Ptsd & DID, she doesn’t want to understand how her negative Behaviours aren’t safe for me. She triggers a lot of the deep hurt created by my Disorganised Attachment, and, after a couple of inpatient admissions, I have had to go no contact with her… and she’s furious. But I know now that I can only manage myself, and that she is a grown woman perfectly able to manage on her own. Sadly, now that I’ve created boundaries with her, she has thrown tantrums, tried to make me feel guilty, told me that I’m a horrible person, that I’m abusing her, and that I am an ungrateful child. She can’t handle not being “in charge” of everyone. I’ve told her that I’m willing to work on our relationship, but that it would only be with a therapist. Especially beCause I know she’s not emotionally mature enough to handle or understand how her choices & behaviours made me vulnerable to predators; and how those traumas created my C-Ptsd & DID; and how those Illnesses affect my health & behaviours in the present; and ultimately hoping she can heal from her own childhood, and become more aware of the consequences of her actions. I DO feel that it’s safer for her to have a professional to support her & interpret for her. I may not like my mother, but I’m not a sadist. But even with all her siblings urging her to get a therapist, She is stubbornly refusing (“I don’t have anything to talk about. I’m just fine.”). Though, I’m not all that surprised at her stubbornness. Sorry for the diatribe, But Katie…The biggest boundary Ive set with her is that to allow her in my house, and to participate in family activities together, she needs to find a therapist she is comfortable with, and has had, at the very least, an Intake session with that therapist… and then we can eventually have family sessions & work on healing together. But what do I do If my mother never chooses to do any of that? What if she dies without us working things out? Does that make me a horrible daughter/person? I keep asking myself “why doesn’t my mother love me enough to work things out?” But I know it doesn’t work that way. But am I being too rigid? Am I being as stubbornly dogmatic (as she is) in my own behaviour?
My mom kind'a does this? But like, not about her sex life; yes shell make jokes, thats it. I enjoy having those conversations though, make me feel useful.
My mom started sharing how upset she was with my dad around 11,12 years old. How he didnt love her, how she was afraid to be alone. How she could share her sadness with me, etc. Then things got worse when she got depression and I completely felt very responsable for my mom's health. I just wanted her to be okay and so many times she cried on me. Sometimes I think my mom's depression was a last resorce for dad to notice her. After she started going to theraphy, her therapist started saying how she shouldnt tell me a lot of stuffs but sometimes she would slip one or two things, since I was still her main friend. I had to finally understand that I shouldnt keep this going and realized this whole set made me turn against my dad even. Now when something happens, I always turn with analizing eyes instead of simply taking my mom's side. I feel less responsible as well, since she is an adult as I am an adult. I tell her I understand helping her with problems, but Im no bait for her emotions anymore.
But what do we mean by a Child ? Like if a parent did this to a 16 years old would that be considered emotional incest ?
Setting the boundary is fine but walking out i feel is very harsh. We are all victims of victims. If your parent is doing that help them get counselling. I would set the boundary and get them help but not walk out. That is a very in-compassionate thing to do. The parent is probably insecure which is why they are emotionally incesting in the first place so walking out on them will make them angry or react with more insecurity. Help them. I know it is not the job of the teen to help their parent out but at the end of it all – we are humans. You can guide them and help them get counseling. Most parents will take that much better than a child walking out on them. Katie is an EXCELLENT therapist but I don't think she is a parent yet. The pain a parent goes through when a child walks out on them even if the child is technically right, cannot be expressed in words.If parent continues to violate the boundary in spite of offering help, then take the extreme steps of moving out or walking out.
This is exactly what broke up my engagement to my best friend. Her mom basically held her hostage to the point where I couldn't even be around, or in the picture at all. Her happiness was worth more than our relationship. Spending time on her own was taking away time from the mother in law everyday. We couldn't even get our own apartment without her being right next door, and she'd have to stay at her moms place like 4 days a week. I wish I had seen this a year ago, because I became the bad guy when I started saying things were getting straight up creepy. Sucks too cause she was awesome if only she could fight for her own independence. I hope someone else reads this and doesnt make the same mistakes I did by sticking around for so long, OR learn a lesson and use this as an example. If you open your eyes to this kind of discussion, do it. Help yourself, and work on yourself. Your the child, their the parent. they should be glad, instead of twisting any relationship into being one big time theft.
just from the title i was like "wait this isn't r/sweethomealabama"
anyway great video
Why make a videos like this our even think like this 🤢
My mom was very much like this. My parents were on and off again over and over and when they were separated I became the emotional caretaker. I wish I knew how to heal from this because I cannot afford therapy right now
Holy crap yep that’s my mom. I was her best friend
I’ll be damned! You hit the nail on the head for me.
Just discovered that I have a little bit emotional incest… Thanks…!
Oh my god. My partner is 26 and my MIL does this to him. She was also abusive / neglectful to him when he lived with her as a child so now he is unable to set any boundaries. He craves any attention from her — even weird or negative attention.
Norma/Norman from Bates Motel help me to understand.
It’s not incest, my mom needs my emotional help all the time and I will oblige. My father isn’t the perfect husband for her so she just tells me her problems and I tell her everything’s going to be okay.
Thank you to whoever asked about this because I didn't even know this was a thing I have never heard about it until I came across it yet I know lots of people that fall into this wow thank you Katie for educating us on this.
Wow that was really helpful! I wish I have watched it earlier when I have moved away from emotionally dependant parent. I don't feel guilty anymore. Thanks
Oh. My. God. My mom did this to me growing up and I didn't know it was a thing! I would be heavily disturbed by the details she shared between my dad and her..She treated me like an adult with her adult problems but gave me no freedom at all. I feel sick
She looks dirty & leaves me alone to eat at her job.
The hallway has grey carpet. I only saw he in it . One time, with her folder.
What if this is happening to my little brother? My mom did everything you said in this video to me. I stopped listening to her more and more as I grew older. I noticed all my friends were leading happy lives. And then I started asking myself what is happening to me? I am 21 now and am becoming more and more aware of what is happening to me and around me. Now that I have set boundaries for me and my mom, she has turned to my little brother. He is mentally disabled but he still goes to school for the special educations programs. He participated in the special olympics and is a student everybody loves. But when I look back at it, he is basically me when I was young. Falling for everything my mom says. She yells at me. Blames everything on me. Essentially told me how I was a "mistake". She said my dad forced himself upon her when she was crying and vulnerable and that's how I was conceived. Essentially saying I wasn't supposed to happen.. And she moves on like it's not supposed to mean anything. Wow.. Thanks a lot mom. She even told me my dad stomped on her stomach when she was pregnant and killed my unborn sibling. Wow. Thanks a lot mom. I would have had an older sibling if my dad didn't kicked her and beat her with my unborn older sibling. I would have had another brother or sister.. She shares all these stupid stuff to me. I hate it. But back then I was stupid and thought I was really the problem. Still suffering from guilt but I am trying to move on now. I just want to know how I can help my little brother. He doesn't listen to me and he keeps siding with my mom. My mom always tries to make me fight my little brother By saying he doesn't want to leave her or come with me. For example my mom and brother would argue over something. I step in an tell my mom to stop yelling at him. She tells me to stay away and this has nothing to do with me. And then my little brother tells me to go away too. It makes me sad. He doesn't see how it is. He sees me as a bad guy sometimes. How do I cope with this? And possibly help him??
My mother always complains to me about her suffering with my father. She now loves me
I had no choice but to satisfy my mother emotionally
We are on a relationship now
I’m not sure if this happened to me.
I am living this problem with my partner. We are both almost 50 yrs old and his daughter is almost 30 yrs but his relationship with her is so unhealthy even though he believes its beautiful. He has to hide anything to do with us since were together (4 yrs) as shes jealous and continually asks him if their love is better than ours, and how could he choose me over being with her ! and hes obligated to tell her that hes only here in the UK with me instead of being there in italy with her only because of work here and now hes been forced to promise her that he return back to go live with her in Italy in December. So if could post a video ALSO explaining about parents who are victims that would be great even though I know it is them causing it.
My mum used to do that through out my childhood and teenage years I think (I am not sure).She would always talk ill of my dad, ask us if they should divorce or what we will do if the divorce happens, how dad flirts with other women, etc…etc… I once had enough when I was around eleven and left the room while she was crying about how my dad was an evil person and how abusive he was. After an hour she yelled my name asked me "why did you leave during a very emotional time of mine? How could you do that to me" I mumbled "I dislike hearing bad things about my dad" and she just went insane. I felt for the longest time like such an evil and cruel person for doing that. I wanted to protect her, i felt bad that i couldnt do anything. They would even invlove me in their fights and to this day mum would blame my sister and I for not taking her side in that one fight. I love my mum, but I dislike what she has done to both of me and my sister.Dad was terrible and abusive, but I had enough, you know? There were many things I didn't realise that were bad about him (I didn't know what even abuse was) so I disliked it when she would speak ill of him. I do feel bad that she had nobody else to confide in but to me and my sister, but it was just so tiring. It wore me out. It wore both of us out.
Bates motel lmao
I always thought it was wrong, it’s great that my mom trusts me that much that she talks about personal stuff but that makes me feel so responsible and under pressure, i feel it’s too much cuz I’m already struggling with my life my thoughts my relationships and my future I can’t think of everything at the same time, I always tell her that i hate when she talk about her problems especially when i’m not capable to do anything about it for example her issues with dad, i’m a secretive person so I don’t talk about everything to my mom or anyone, she started talking about her struggles and problems since i was 12 or 13 I think and now i’m 16 and it’s still going on, but the way i feel kinda changed now, yeah i feel bad for her ofc she’s my mom but I don’t feel responsible anymore and I don’t think a lot about it cuz i don’t even have to know these stuff so i can care about them, especially at this age everything effects me and i have to be careful of what i hear and read cause soon i’ll be an adult, my future shows who i was and now is my time to develop myself and know what i want+my mom is really nice to me and she’s intelligent and well educated but Idk why doesn’t she realize that what she’s doing is effecting me….
This reminds me of my mother. She was a single mother(by choice) and believed that I was her "re-do" in life. She had a shitty childhood and ruined mine. She tried to live vicariously through me. She would beat me, slap me in my face is a did or said anything she didnt deem acceptable. I was slapped once for asking a question…she slapped me so hard my ear rang for a good 5 minutes. She would call me fat, bitch, slut, whore anything you could name if I made her mad and it didnt take much to make her mad. The most bizarre thing is that after all that abuse my mother committed emotional incest with me. She beat me and humiliated me but then she wanted me to sit up late at night talking about her crappy life, her ex husband who didnt want her anymore, my loser dad who she chose to procreate with and he walked out. Things you tell a friend. She would guilt me into "loving on" her and having a relationship when I hated her most days. She made me so confused. I moved over an hour away for college and vowed never to live with her again. Now that I'm 28 years old and married I have very limited contact with her(text messages mostly) she tries to guilt me into hanging out with her..no I'm not your friend I dont like my mother at all and will not pretend anymore. My husband says I should confront her about what she did but theres no point. She claims was a great mother and never abused me in anyway..its best I just stay away smh.
I came here wondering about my relationship with my brother and was made to realise our mum is veeeeeery weird (towards me especially)…
Now I know it has a name…. My mom's a divorcée.. I am her eldest son.. For a brief time I was her shoulder.. She explained me everything.. Including my birth… But it came to an end when my Grandpa found about it…Now I'm free..Thanks to my Grandpa..
This isn't just with kids. My FIL did this kind of stuff to my husband when we first started dating (my husband was 19). His mom & dad were having issues & his dad would put everything on my husband. Basically telling him that he had to fix his parents relationship. It really affected my husband.
responding versus reacting
Omg. I think I do this to my girls who are teenagers. I was just trying to be open and chill. I will edit now. I grew up like this and had no idea I guess. Thanks! But I have some friends who are parents of the same age kids but they don't seemed bothered by it. So is it only wrong if it creeps them out? My kids seem to be very shy and private and I'm like it's just me. I will talk to them. Thank you!
This was really helpful. I think it's so vital to know about different mental health issues just so you feel like you have a better vocabulary to express your feelings and also knowing that it is a legitimate thing and that you are neither making it up nor are you the only one suffering from in. Also, you kinda look like Lili Reinhardt 🙂
Ohh, don't tell me !!! I thought it's their nature, then after knowing abiut NPD it thought it was their isolation, control etc tacticts…O MY GOD ….now I see why the female overt and male covert did all those things all time ….🤦🏻♀️ …I just couldn't understand it was this and not normal …omg omg God save me
This is happening to me now as an adult. I’m the only person that my mother has in this world and I don’t know what to do.
My parents SOMETIMES do this—but I completely understand why and I don’t think they mean to… Hopefully…
I’m about to cry and I’m only 3 minutes in
I have to politely disagree. This term itself sounds a bit ludicrous. Incest itself involves sexual relations, so the idea of it being 'emotional' doesn't make sense. From my perspective, it seems people aren't as appreciative of their parents. One should respect their parents in their house and follow their rules. If parents are being verbally abusive, I could understand.
This seems like Asian parents😂😂
I just love my dad and miss home after a while, also he just tells me to talk to him when I feel bad and speak out he does not force me to stay home he has been trying to put me in programs or make me visit family
So does this mean emotional incest can never be sexual abuse? I personally feel like I have very similar struggles as people who have actually been sexually assaulted and also experience problems in sexual relationships. Where is the line?
Wow…. my mom… finally.. this gave me some closure idk how but it did
Happens to everyone Big deal , nothing cares to what I’ve been through .
The sexual abuse can also subtly go along with it. It is disguised under the emotional incest. Because after all .. ppl do have sex with their partners if they want to or are able to. What a sick dynamic! However very validating and finally an answer to a lifetime of questions.
my mom shared many times about how her childhood went and wat happened she tells me everything and she's made me almost tell her everything I was around kids but the same ones every time or I hung with her and "my aunts" I've had to put up with her having loud intercourse and hear details at about 16 every friend I brought home from school was treated like they were unwelcomed scum who would ruin my perfectness and I would be told how smelly and ugly they we're I could go on
FBI open the door!
My mom does this…
She always guilt trips me for everything..
but like how do u stop feeling guilty
World:Water crisesPeople dying of hungerVarious deadly diseasesHomeless and broke….. Random teenagers:Emotional incest (//_^) 👽👽
I think this is along the same vein, but not entirely similar. The part about being controlling is similar to my sister. She's my twin and always has to control me. I'm not allowed to wear makeup unless she okays it. I can't go out anywhere without her approval. When I was in school I wasn't really allowed to be friends with anyone else, and when I did have friends she would turn them against me. I have spoken out about this in my family but I get ignored, it gets put down to sibling arguments. I genuinely feel like i've been bullied and abused by her all my life, and I'm starting to think she might be gaslighting me because when I speak out about these issues, or any issue, I get told that i'm overreacting or that I'm insane and crazy. Due to this and other issues I am so close to just ending it all.
Also, I think my mum did this a bit too. She would share details with me and my sister when we were only 6 about my dad, who walked out on us, stuff about his new girlfriend being a whore, about him being a terrible person. Kinda made me grow up think I too was a terrible person, and gave me self esteem issues I think. Plus, it made me think that I did something wrong to make him leave us which is a lot for a 6 year old. My sister and I were also explicitly blamed for making my mum's life 'hell' because we would act up sometimes. looking back i think it was just behaviour that some kids have, like being occasionally naughty, but I was always made to think i was an inherently bad person because of these behaviours. My mum had depression during this time.
I feel stupid writing it on YouTube but I only have my mum and sister in my life. I literally have no friends and don't really interact with many people. Just wanted to vent and have someone maybe listen to me.
still waiting /hoping to meet minds with someone who had a father daughter relationship like this—- he unloaded on me quite often emotionally and also with presents/attention. he was closer/more affectionate to me than he was to my mom. he and i would snuggle on the couch when i was a kid, and conversely they would barely touch eachother. (unfortunately/fortunately, i still have some feelings of warmth about the closeness when we were watching t.v. & movies together). when i was little, i felt like he was my 'boyfriend', and i also had a weird drive in preschool to 'get a boyfriend' from the pool of preschool boys i went to school with. he never touched me as far as i remember, but i was sucked into his world and he resented my mom even before i was born. he soon left her after i was 5, for another woman . the second this woman became his new object, he became a completely different person toward me, and more openly rough in general.. he became physically violent over small things, allowed her to be abusive toward myself and her own biological daughter who was the same age as myself.. he kept telling me i was 'jealous ' of my step mother/that i didn't like my step mother, but i was mostly scared of her because she was often drunk and if she was drunk, she was more angry and paranoid than her usual anger and paranoia. i was also worried about my mom at that time because to her the divorce was shocking (she did remarry also, thankfully), but my dad's mind could only go toward the idea that i might be jealous of my step mom. he would break down crying infront of me when we were alone, as i grew up, and also did 'confessionals' , telling me things i had no business hearing at a young age.. like, he 'didn't ever love my mom' and only got with her 'because he was trying to get over someone else'; fully detailed stories about the woman he loved so much more than my mom. that sort of truth would help when i am 30, but not when i'm 12 or 10 years old. my sense that so much of this formative/ongoing experience was/is wrong, was crystallized after his second wife, my step mom of over 25 years died, and he immediately latched onto his adult step daughter and flat out physically violated her and told her she was just like her dead mom and that they should be in a relationship (my step sister, who already had her own child and stable boyfriend, who he never seemed to care much about before that/used to join in with my step mom scapegoating/punishing her for nothing/teasing her that she was ugly while she was growing up). many times in between that, before my step mom died, he would want my attention when his wife (my step mom) was away/they weren't getting along… to the point that he wanted me to move in with them, when i was clearly independent. i knew that would not be healthy or work out for me!! growing up, there was focus on my appearance, especially as i got older, as in awkward looks and comments. people who have ever been in this sort of but not often discussed relationship between a father and daughter, you are not alone. it seems mainly emotional incest relationships with mothers is what is more common, or openly discussed . my dad was my first 'love' /'boyfriend"/the parent i remember being closest to me the first five years of my life (despite the fact that my mom breastfed me and also sang me to sleep) and i am still trying to figure out how to truly move on from this disordered attachment/experience . (p.s., i haven't had any contact with him, especially since the incident he initiated with my step sister. ) i still feel weird writing about this, and also, sorry for how messy yet incomplete my writing is.
Calling that behavior Emotional Incest is a huge reach
I love my mom for bringing me into this world and doing her best. Her best was pretty shitty in the ways that count and sometimes i think about how my life would be better if she was dead.I used to think i was a monster for these thoughts, but in these comments i see people saying "thank god shes dead and im finally free".I've found people like me
gosh, i gotta stop being a friend to my mum
Whoa. Thank you for mentioning homeschooling. My mother homeschooled me and my brother for exactly this reason, so that she could keep us to herself and vet all of our influences. I'm 27 years old and still regularly am shocked to learn what I've done my whole life that's not normal outside that household.
Who would dislike this video
So many parents rely on their children to fill relationship gaps. It's disgusting, generally all in therapy, receiving services, or involved in church groups doing the same manipulative techniques! People are ridiculous and judging by common practice instead of correcting the problems. It's sad!
Now, see I was laughing at the very idea of this. My son, Marty, and I were more like siblings than Mom and Son and he was my best friend even though he lived a state away. I knew his secrets and he knew mine. However as I began listening to this, I was struck with the similarities between my neighbor woman and her 6 children. She would constantly guilt her children into not leaving her, not participating in activities not associated with the Family, especially if she wasn't there or if it wasn't for her. They had little to no school activities and she went through a short religious period then dropped it around the time the kids began to form other outside relationships. The oldest and youngest daughter both became her home health aides both to earn extra money and because she wanted them to stay close. When the older daughter was moving out of the home beside her along with her husband and 4 children, the youngest sister then obtained her certification to begin work. She would often ask me which of them would stay with her until she died. If she didn't like the Boyfriend or Girlfriend of the Child's, she would complain, nag, and sabotage until she got rid of them.
This my exact relationship with my mom..
I feel sick, sometimes I get off to some of my mom's naked pictures she leaves around.. I'm 13 and it all began around I'd say like 6 or 7 , she sometimes pulled her pants and panties down and flashed me her.. yeah. And always walked around naked , it's over but it left an affect on me. I feel as if she has no respect for me , and the way she acts around me. My mom comes to me as if I'm her bestfriend , and she calls me her best friend also. I know the nasty terrible things I'm doing is very shocking , but I feel as If I can't control myself , I just want to have a healthy relationship with her..
Thank you for this video I too didn't realize there was a word for what this is. I'm searching for how to deal with this as an adult. I'm 28 and from about the age of 16 my mother has gone in and out of deep stoops of depression. I'm currently living in China and being so far away I know my mom misses me but she is very manipulate and will tell me things about her mental state that make me wonder if I need to go home. Thankfully I'm in great communication with my sisters and they are able to fill me in on when she is actually doing bad or when she is just clearly looking for attention from me. I've found lots of resources on how to personally deal with these issues but I haven't been able to really find much on talking to your parent about these issues. Is it okay with thoughtful language to address to them that this is in fact what they are doing or is it something that can't really be addressed if they have a mental illness?
Most people commenting just had narcissistic parents. 90% of emotional incest cases are with moms and their sons, most women talking here are NOT a case of this.
Based on personal experiences and this whole comments section I feel like this is sorta common when a child's parents are getting a divorce.
Had no idea that this term existed until the other day…100% what my dad did while I was growing up. After trying to set up boundaries I’ve had to cut him off for the last 3 years. It’s good at least to know that others go through it too, even though it would be better if none of us had to experience it in the first place.
can't even finish this without crying. thank you
it felt like i went through this and I might have to an extent but it was really just from symptoms of my moms bipolar. i was never abused in any other way though, my parents have always spoiled and have been over protective of me otherwise.
i had no idea this had a name…
My parent destroyed me and now I'm in my mid 30s. The best thing though, is I've never had any real friendships/relationships which has kept me from spiraling further down and getting into the same dysfunctional if not more so problems.
Being a child/adult protection investigator for 10 years, now a true crime/crime fiction author, I try to look at all sides of the story, but tend to be biased in favor of victims, who do not deserve it, regardless of age.
Are you agree with incest?
Where have I heard that? "I'd kill myself but mom will be sad"
My dad is almost 60 and has lived with his mom since his divorce from my mother over 30 years ago..
If child are happy to be what they want, but do child still love to be incest if they want to be?
I realized my mom and I are "too close" only about last year and I just told her that I've never felt that I have a separate identity and that we're enmeshed. She took it surprisingly well and apologized for being overbearing and overprotective. Now I'm scared to set boundaries and move outside of that enmeshment, because I don't know what our relationship looks like if I'm not the therapist and our convos don't rely on her past trauma and broken relationships.
This is my mother. Very weak boundaries and tons of enmeshment and guilt. She’s always been putting her children in role of therapist. She also puts my half brother in that role as surrogate partner it’s really weird and uncomfortable to watch.
Nothing sexual. But I can relate. I have no friends. My mind degraded to a damage version of my 13 year old self due to the lack of social interaction. Home schooling, lack of exposure to outer world,etc.I don't have much of hopes.
this was the main reason why me and my ex boyfriend broke up. his mother would call him non stop, she picked fights with me etc… he always felt guilty when he was staying at my place and ended up going home to her because she was “alone”. i really feel sorry for him.
There is nothing wrong in learning from your children.
My parents literally have no problem being naked around me and I have tried so hard to talk about boundaries with them but I can’t even get a modicum of respect. I am about to go no contact but I feel so guilty and I know why logically but emotionally cutting the off feels so wrong and selfish and I hate it but I have to.
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