The Time Zack Morris Dumped His Girlfriend To Harass The School Nurse
- Articles, Blog

The Time Zack Morris Dumped His Girlfriend To Harass The School Nurse

♪ Zack Morris is trash ♪ (bell ringing) – [Narrator] Zack Morris
tells Kelly he’s never felt this way, but he’s extra double horned up and wants to go steady. Zack threatens to murder
Kelly’s interrupting brother. – [Zack] Wanna live till tomorrow? – [Narrator] Then pushes her to answer. She needs to sleep on it. Zack whines for a kiss like an infant. Zack announces Baysides hottest
babe will be his any minute, because of course she’ll say yes. Then Zack sees a new woman and goes sparkle-vision speechless. He’s extra triple horned up, he didn’t even know that was possible. She’s Jennifer. – I’m Zack, and I’m in love. – [Narrator] Kelly who? Kelly has Zack’s answer
after poetry class. Zack doesn’t give a squirrels anus. Belding tells the school
it’s time for flu shots, and don’t be afraid of a little prick. There’s a huge blond
one roaming the halls. Kelly reads her poem
about a special someone, but while she’s pouring her heart out, Zack daydreams away to sparkle town to instead hear that woman he just met. Belding calls in the
first round of flu shots. Jesse needs glasses. She foolishly turns to Zack for support. – Zack, do you think guys
like girls who wear glasses? – No way. – [Narrator] Zack’s not a
fan of anything that helps a young lady see she’s making a mistake. Turns out Jennifer is the new nurse. Zack goes full bozo mode again. Stammering and staring. – Would you like to sit down? – Oh no, I prefer being held. – [Narrator] Gross and sad. Then gives her the weird dead eyes. Who would ever want that? Truly awful. Let’s see how Zack handles
the best news ever. – Well, I guess you know
the answer, it’s yes. – That’s great Kel, so
what was the question? – [Narrator] Scum of the earth. Kelly suspects Zack is into someone else, which seems unlikely as Kelly
is made of rainbows and joy, but Jesse will investigate. Zack’s rehearsing his creepiest wassup in his ugliest suit. Jesse wants answers,
Zack makes her promise not to tell anyone, but he’s in love with the new nurse, barf. Jesse wonders how Kelly
will take getting dumped. Zack says slow down with that dumped talk, no reason he can’t have a
second, less hot girlfriend. You can own a Porsche and
still ride the bus sometimes. Jesse, incredulous, asks if
Zack plans to date them both. Sounds good to Zack, who
fantasizes about a future where he’s a famous surgeon
and Kelly and Jennifer assist his reckless malpractice in between sticky threesomes. Kelly wants intel. Jesse, honoring Zack’s
ass-covering vow of silence, says vague nothings, and is
now complicity constructing Kelly’s road to misery. Zack limps in, he needs
to see the nurse, alone! Zack jogs away. Zack runs his slimy suit
game on this poor woman trying to do her job. – Oh, what can I do for ya? – Oh boy, now there’s a question. – [Narrator] Then mutters
some inconsistent symptoms. – Wonder what’s going on
in that body of yours. – [Narrator] And closes with
his I’ve got a boner face. Jennifer will be right back. But when Slater arrives for his shot, Zack thinks its the nurse. He says he’s in love, through a curtain, with no eye contact, like all people who are serious about commitment do. Then wraps up his aggressively
desperate sales pitch. – This is the real thing, don’t fight it, just go with the flow. – [Narrator] Slater has a fear
needles and offers to keep this quiet, if Zack takes
his flu shot for him. Zack tells Screech he
did some soul searching, and being faithful holds less
appeal than banging around. But because losing Zack will crush Kelly, she’ll need a human
distraction from the agony, who won’t make Zack jealous. Wow, how thoughtful. Screech says Melvin, from
chess club, is the perfect nerd who won’t threaten his tiny ego. Zack, who wanted exclusivity yesterday, says they should see other
people using a condescending, mindless metaphor about
how they’re both nuts that need room to grow into trees. He really should have paid
more attention in poetry class. Kelly wants to know if
there’s someone else. Zack promises there isn’t another student. Mastering the art of
not lying his ass off, Kelly is devastated and
eternally angry at all men for being so blindly
scorned without reason. Slater and Jesse talk in
code about Zack’s secret, but Lisa cracks the case. And because she didn’t promise
anything, tells the nurse. Jennifer is shocked and
disgusted, but says she knows how to deal with sick people. Jennifer calls Zack in on what appears to be very casual Friday. She knows what he likes
her and she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about
the nervous mumbling virgin who can’t dress for shit and
keeps bugging her at work. Zack’s nothing like her
violent, pro-wrestler husband. Then she starts talking about
marrying Zack and having kids. Fearing for his life and
adult responsibilities, beyond that of wearing a tie, Zack yells he has a girlfriend, a lie, and being scared to death has really made him
come around on monogamy and not sexually harassing the faculty. Zack goes to Kelly’s, but
she’s hanging with Melvin, who is way cooler and hotter than Zack. And Kelly is ready for
someone who appreciates her and isn’t a shady turd. And we never see nurse
Jennifer ever again, because the shame of
violating her nurses pledge to teach a youth a much needed
lesson was too much to bear and she probably fucking killed herself. Let’s review. Zack Morris badgered
Kelly into a relationship to possess the prettiest girl in school. Then forgot all about her,
the first new woman he saw. And when he learned his
crush is school staff, continued being gross and inappropriate. Then, when Kelly said yes,
pretended he didn’t know what she’s talking about, causing intense mental
anguish and confusion. While Zack very poorly tried
to seduce this older woman, letting every friend know except Kelly. Then after breaking Kelly’s heart, damaging all her future relationships, to pursue a thing that
was never going to happen, and he couldn’t handle even if it did, had to be terrorized into
wanting to make things right. And was bested by a guy he
set up to be his deliberately inferior replacement, only anyone is better than Zack Morris. Zack Morris is trash. ♪ Zack Morris is trash ♪ (bell ringing)

About Bill McCormick

Read All Posts By Bill McCormick

100 thoughts on “The Time Zack Morris Dumped His Girlfriend To Harass The School Nurse

  1. "To pursue a thing that was never going to happen, AND HE COULDN'T HANDLE EVEN IF IT DID!"

    Thats Zach for you. Give him to hot, willing women and he'll fuck it up somehow.

  2. I feel like the narrator to this is secretly in love with Zack. Like..when you get a crush on the disgustingly preppy, popular jackass in high school. Yeah. I think they love Zack in secret. 😂😂

  3. Wow! How teenagers where getting brain washed by these shows back then, hu?🤔 no wonder there's a lot of failed relationships…

  4. Zach is the type of guy to wear his letterman at 35 and carry a football everywhere while calling everyone bro

  5. Kelly was making Zack wait on an answer which seems like a juvenile power play on her part. I think Zack had every right to play the field in the mean time and then snub her eventual acceptance of the invitation.

  6. I think this episode highlights how much Zach Morris is like Romeo; thinks with his dick and very quickly moves to the next unsuspecting girl to the detriment of everyone involved

  7. there was always that one asshole in high school who was effortlessly ripped, even more than guys twice his age. fuck them.

  8. Probably because I was 5 years old when my sister used to watch this but damn I never noticed how much of a clown Zack was.

  9. I bet you call men "thirsty" just because they try to get a woman to go out with them. I've seen guys like you get laid out for that kind of shit.

  10. Zach really is a scumbag! Like the narrator, i wished someone would have best the shit out of him, to teach him a lesson. But Zach is the ultimate on this show. He freezes time, he's basically a con man.

  11. One of the little known contract rules were all the girls had to wear wonder bras and have at least 2 episodes a season in swimwear . Oh the hood old sexist days

  12. How the hell does this moron refuse KELLY? Hell, at his age, I'd even take Jessie. Yes, including with glasses, because girls wearing glasses can be hot.

  13. 1:23 always baffled me, even as a kid when I first saw it. He asks her what the question is…. then walks off and shakes his head???


  14. Yet even though Kelly is traumatized by this years later she married Zack, explain that one dude??? Lmmfao 🤣 🤣🤣 🤣 these videos 😂😂😂

  15. I always know the episodes that they are reviewing and I thought I knew every episode of Saved by the Bell but I don't remember this one

  16. how can shows like this ever have existed while shows that are actually good or at the very least decent gets canceled? absolutely absurd

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *