Inside Amy Schumer – The Nurses
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Inside Amy Schumer – The Nurses

is an even greater “The Nurses.” Welcome to “The Nurses,” the show that you watch while
you’re waiting for the doctors.
I know what
you’re all thinking.
You want to see the doctors
right away,
but you’re just going to have
to settle for the unsung heroes
up here who do
all the real work.
And don’t worry, we know more
than the doctors, okay?
If you don’t have a fever
and you blow your nose
and it’s clear, you’re fine.
That’s right.
Because doctors can be
very unapproachable.
It’s like, we get it,
Your Grace.
You’re super busy.
And we’re not busy?
Don’t give us any attitude. If you are rude,
we’re rude. We’ll give it right back to you. (audience claps)
Thank you. Okay, let’s take a question
from the studio audience. Yeah, thanks, hi. I’ve been told
that my cholesterol is– Step on the scale, please. Wow, okay. Uh, you want me
to remove my shoes? (all)
It doesn’t matter. My cholesterol is too high. What can I do
to address this issue? I guess,
like, Google it? You know what,
you gotta wash your hands. And wash them longer
than you think, okay? Two “Happy Birthdays.” A doctor would say that
my cholesterol is connected to washing my hands? I’ll tell you what a doctor
would say. “Blah, blah, I want to bang
every pharmaceutical rep that walks through my office
door in a pencil skirt. Blah.” That’s what a doctor would say.
(audience claps) It’s like, I wear
pencil skirts, you know? I wear ’em all the time, and I can’t even Dr. Rosen
to look at me. Okay, this isn’t really
the time for that. Thank you. Here.
Piss in this. Do you want me to leave it in
the bathroom or bring it out? (all)
Doesn’t matter. I can’t today.
I can’t. Okay, we are getting a lot
of questions about keeping your doodies regular. Mm-hmm,
Here’s what I do: Coffee and a cigarette. Boom, like clockwork every day. Easy, thank you.
(audience claps) You’re welcome. Happy birthday,
Jocelyn! Oh, you guys. (Amy)
Jocie! A cookie cake!
Yeah. My favorite! We know you love cookie cake. Happy birthday. Everyone owes me $3. I’m actually not
going to have any. Even if you’re not
gonna have any. It’s a party, okay? Yeah, I have a question
about prescriptions? Sir, we will call you
when we’re ready for you. Okay? I did not
forget about you. Sit down. (clears throat) Sir? Sir! We’re ready for you now. Even though we’re
technically still on break. What’s youremergencyquestion? My question is about
prescriptions. Step on the scale. Is she talking to the air?
Step on it. Ahh! Oh, no! (screaming) Oh, God! My legs are cut off! Someone, please,
call the doctors! Call the doctors! Uh.
He’s gonna die on television! Someone get a doctor! Look at his legs! It’s in half! Both legs are in half! Dr. Patel? Oh, what a shocker. Well, can somebody go find him?

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100 thoughts on “Inside Amy Schumer – The Nurses

  1. Any other nurses immediately think of who they know who are like this? Jaded as fuck and hating their jobs, this was so funny I'm gonna show some friends at work tonight lol!

  2. This is so insulting to nurses. I'm someone who can definitely take a joke, but as a nursing student, this crosses a line. From this video, people take that nurses are moronic, lazy, Doctor-chasing and incompetent women (unsurprisingly, they didn't write in for a male nurse). We all have to complete a rigorous degree program, hundreds of clinical hours (unpaid) and multiple simulations just to take our licensing boards! We assess, create plans of care, implement care and evaluate patient outcomes. This skit is perpetuating the modernization of the Nurse Ratchet archetype and an overall negative view of nurses in our culture. This simply contributes to poor nurse treatment and a degradation of nursing morale across the board.

  3. Amy's parody of Nurses With Attitude may nail some nurses, but I do not see most nurses behaving this way.
    I don't see nurses treating patients this way, especially polite, courteous patients, as depicted by these actors.
    Perhaps she has had a negative experience.
    I've seen nurses endure abusive and discourteous treatment by patients and families so much that I could understand many being jaded, but I could never see it happen to a courteous, reasonable person.
    Nurses have to triage patient's needs by urgency and often people misunderstand that a warm blanket does not qualify as an emergency. As well as, nurses are dependent on doctor's orders and are unable to FORCE an unwilling doctor to address the patient's needs.
    However, there are those people who come to an ER at the drop of a hat — temperature of 99 degrees and no other symptoms, not having taken tylenol, nor setting up an appointment with the PCP, which takes resources away from true emergencies like heart attacks or strokes, so it's so much more complicated than Schumer's sketch.
    I'm just saying…

  4. Nursing is a paradox. We are voted most "trusted," profession, are tasked to educate/nurture/tend to the sick, and yet there are bitter nurses that behave in this manner.

  5. So many nurses and nursing majors are offended for some reason. If you are not that type of person and not that type of nurse then you shouldn't be offended, because it's a skit making fun of those kinds of nurses, specifically. We've all had to experience them. Either way it's a fucking joke. Lighten up.

  6. I just got home from working a 12 hour shift, no lunch, again! I usually love Amy but this is very ignorant. I would love to see her do my job!

  7. I am a doctor, and do You know what I have to say to this!

    "Bla bla bla I wanna bang every pharmaceutical rep that walks through the door in a pencil skirt"

  8. I think people are missing that this is a comedy sketch. It wouldn't be funny if the point was to show how much nurses work and how great they are. It's to make fun of their quirks. I have a lot of respect for nurses but I also found this very accurate and funny as a broad stereotype of the nurses I have encountered.

  9. This is something that sometimes happen at my mom’s jobs.
    Take it from her.
    She’s a baby breastfeeding pediatrician 😂
    No really, she is.

  10. I would be completely ok with people thinking I’m “just a stupid nurse” if they would actually treat me like it.

    Instead they treat us nurses like we’re the go-to person for everything. Family members call at 11:30 at night and ask us to give them a full medical report on their loved one. They want us to spend hours on the phone explaining lab values, test results, medical procedures. They ask us a million questions about insurance coverage and medicaid and medication interactions.

    Even when I say “I don’t know. You need to talk to our social worker in the morning,” they STILL ask me a million questions that I can’t answer.

    Patients tell ME “oh by the way, I had a heart surgery five years ago” and will proceed to give me all the details for about half an hour. but they forget to tell the doctor.

    For gds sakes people, nurses are busy at work. We have several hours of charting to do on each patient. We have to do head to toe examinations. We have to give out meds AND constantly chase down Alzheimer’s patients who keep kicking and fighting us and running away.

    If you think we don’t do anything but give out warm blankets, then quit calling me at night when I’m trying to work

  11. the funniest part was the audience and how they were over reacting just like in actua they do in actual shows they are so extra😊😊😂

  12. Nurse for 20 years. Laughed my ass off. Totally not offended. I worked with these bitches everyday lol.

  13. doctors don't always have to be men and nurses don't always have to be women, this sketch seemed to give in to the stereotype in a way that wasn't constructive

  14. Why are people offended? Obviously not every nurse to walk the planet is like this. It’s a joke because there are a lot of nurses that do act this way. Talking shit about doctors, patients and a lot of talking shit about other nurses. Always sipping on their yeti. Miserable and burnt out. Yep sounds like a lot of nurses I know.

  15. My fathar and hursband are bouth Nursas and made No money they sell blood to pay bills and sad home foreclosures business and now laving in RV down by the Raver

  16. This is accurate about all nurses I've ever encountered, and the worst part is how entitled they are, considering how dim-witted the majority are!

  17. People think nurses don’t do anything, except when they’re in the hospital. Then they pretty much expect us to do everything

  18. Nurses in my hospital work 8-12 hour shifts. Interns and residents do 36-48. A lot of nurses suck. Dated a few. All cheating bastards.

  19. "We'll give it right back to you!" I love when they all just take a beat to sip from their cups and make everyone wait. That seemed like the most on point observation.

  20. Also they have no idea what to do when the guy horribly injures himself. Of course a real nurse would know basic first aid, but it's hilarious.

  21. Fuck you, Schumer. Nursing is a very educated, overworked and underpaid profession. Yours is the exact opposite.

  22. Yo I don't comment on sh*t ever but when I saw this video I had to so PLEASEEE AMY SCHUMER DO MORE OF THIS NURSE CHARACTER!!! COMEDY CENTRAL PASS IT ON PLEASE!!! SHE'S F*CKING AWESOME!!!

  23. If you've ever had a great nurse you'd see how cliche this skit is. They wouldn't tell you to " wash your hands " if you had high cholesterol. Sure, some nurses are snippy, gossipy, and complacent but they're a complete MINORiTY. They are the back bone of any medical establishment and way underappreciated.

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