ABDUCTION | Chris & Jack
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ABDUCTION | Chris & Jack

(snoring) (screams) Oh, what the hell? AHH! So it’s Dave? This your first abduction, Dave? Uh… you’re an alien? Uh, no. Pretty sure you’re the alien, Dave. Just messing with ya. How’s your day been so far? …. I know you’re nervous, but I’ve done a million of these, okay? You’re gonna be fine. What is happening? So, earth. Do you know, uh, Karen? Uh… what? From earth? Karen I think? Um… there are a lot of Karens. Ha, okay, figured worth a shot, huh? Okay, and could you cough for me? (coughs) Good. Hold your breath. Good. And hold your blood. What? Alright, and look over here for me. And look over here. Kay, nice. And look into this dimension. And into this one. I don’t see anything. Oh. Shame. So weather, huh? You guys have that? Uh, yeah, what is this all about? Why am I being abducted? Oh, it’s just a routine check-up to see if human beings qualify as intelligent life. (SCREAM) Can you hear that? Yeah. Okay, how about this? No. Okay and how about this? (TERRIBLE NOISE) Ahhh! YES! YES! JESUS! STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! AHHHH! Okay. Great. Now let’s get you out of that skin. Don’t be shy. I can’t take my skin off. Oh, right, human sorry. Think! Okay, what do we got here? Checks out… And smile. (beep) Great. Ugh. Typical. So does earth get “Klarvon’s Biggest Flinx”? Love that show. That show’s hilarious. I don’t get cable. The way Gorchop’s always getting himself into trouble- Oh no… What? What is it? (muffled radio chatter) Right. Uh… this may be a little difficult to hear. Okay, Dave? Give it to me straight. Dave, I’m afraid you can’t teleport. Right, I never could teleport. Right, on earth. But on Andromeda… You won’t be able to. Well, I want a second opinion. Well, look, you’re welcome to try another abduction- but I’ve dealt with many people who have gone on to live full, happy lives without the ability to hop around spacetime. I think you can learn to live without it. So… did I pass? Or-? Oh, no no no human’s are idiots. But hey, that’s not the only way we measure these things. Human beings are miraculous creatures. So fragile yet so resilient. Their existence shouldn’t work. But somehow, for now, it does. Human beings though not intelligent life are somehow still capable of love and expression and… beauty. Human beings are like the universe looking back on itself. Wow. That was beautiful. Thank you. I’m never gonna forget that. And tracking chip installed. And memory wipe complete. (Metallic thud) Hi, I wanted to double check on a charge I’m seeing here. Um, it says an out of network consultation for one billion eight hundred thirty six million twenty-four dollars and twelve cents. Twelve cents.

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100 thoughts on “ABDUCTION | Chris & Jack

  1. The best short movie I've seen in my life. To the point to what it tries to convey, with the best editing, and the most perfect performances (even to the last tick on the faces of the actors as the scene requires it). And of course, funny as hell.

  2. "I want a second opinion." ROTFLMBO! Wow. These dudes are brilliant! So glad I found this channel. No new Britanick in forever, no new Jake and Amir evermore… I've rewatched Between Two Ferns more times than I can count, so this perfectly fills the void. Fresh concepts, amazing dialogue and top-notch production value. What more could you ask for? 😁

  3. I see this video like 20 times a day ( work in front of a computer. ). soothing background sound and funny dialog.

  4. Everytime i see a new notification (i know they're coming the 1st Thursday of the month so it makes it easier to find) i get so excited. You guys never disappoint!

  5. Just found your channel and I'm so glad I did. Been binging all of it!! You guys are great! How are you not hugely massively known???

  6. Watched 3 Chris & Jack vids in a row… SUBSCRIBED 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂😂😂😂

  7. that fucking alien is from 4th dimention maybe even higher dimention… that's why that alien can teleport that easy

  8. 1:26 I don't know why it's so funny to have an alien go from extremely calm to just BYEEEEEEEEEEEH and back to calm but it's amazing and I love it

  9. So you are spending "millions" of Dollars for Make-Up, Location, Camera Equipment. And yet you wanted to safe time and money and went for a Mic as a prob??? :D:D That's my kind of Humor

  10. I came here to search for Sokka's voice actor and Im so glad I found this channel! You both are hilarious 😂😂 subscribed

  11. So, they ask if it's your first abduction but they wipe your memory after?

    Is that like, a joke… Or?

  12. I love the hearing test. That scream is so funny I keep rewinding to hear it again. So funny.

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