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a month on lexapro (mental health check in) || mermaidqueenjude [CC]

Hi mermaids, welcome back to my channel
if you’re new here My name is Jude. Hello. Happy April. We made it through March April is gonna be fun. I have 12 videos that I’m going to shoot and film and whatever. So your support is
really important. And yeah. So we’re gonna talk about my first
month on SSRIs so about a little bit over a month ago
I started on Lexapro. I’m taking 10 milligrams right now and for the most part it’s been pretty okay. I think it’s helped me overall. Just be– have my baseline be a little bit more chill. [laughs] If you’ve been around for a while
you know that being chill is not necessarily in my
vocabulary but I’ve been a little bit more
chill which is nice. I got really scared when I started
taking medication because there was all the
stigmatization about around medication. And one of the biggest stigmas is that you can become numb and emotionless which
definitely does happen depending on the
medication. So that was something that I was
really afraid of because I am very self-aware. And very like in tune with my body and honor my emotions. So I was very afraid that that’s what would happen to me. It didn’t. Thank God. But I was very afraid that that’s
what would happen because there is the stigmatization
of you’ll basically lose all your
emotions. Which is not true. So yeah, so I’ve been on Lexapro for
about a month now. A little bit over a month now and it’s been good. It’s taken all of my like really really really high High emotions and all of my
really really low low emotions and like squashed them in the middle so it’s less of like a rollercoaster ride like my existence which is nice. It’s nice to not have to be completely up one day and completely down another day and like it’s not a fix, it’s not a cure like I’m always going to have
anxiety and depression but this definitely
makes it a lot more manageable which is nice. The first week was terrible. I was tired all the time and it’s because your brain is
getting used to like the meds and. I was just achy and tired and upset and cranky and just a lot. I was I was– I felt a lot of things and it was just my body adjusting and I but I needed it — I needed to be put on medication I needed to be working with the medical
professionals that I’m working with like I needed all those things
happen because right now in therapy I’m doing EMDR which is basically picking at really old wounds and scabs and rehabilitating those memories and being on medication is
definitely helping to make me not spiral and focus on those memories in a
really harsh way. I think one of the things that I’m finding is
that I’m still having a little bit of memory fog in general and I’m still dissociating so I don’t know if. Lexapro is 100 percent the
medication I’m going to stay on. I do want to be on medication but I don’t know if Lexapro is 100% the fix I do feel better than I did which is nice and I am getting more done I
am more productive and I’m not getting any of the harsh
side effects people normally experience on SSRIs. So I’m going to talk to my
psychiatrist when I see them on the 16th. But. Yeah Lexapro has been treating me
fairly well. I’m hoping that I can speak to my psychiatrist about about being put on something that
makes me a little bit more alert but for the most part I’m
experiencing less anxiety attacks which is nice because it allows me to exist and make plans and do things without. Wanting to immediately crawl into a hole. That was the issue that I was
suffering with before is that I would make
plans and then immediately want to cancel
them which I still want to cancel plans
I’m still very much an introvert but less so now. Less frequent. I did learn the hard way that you should not drink on your
medication. I went to brunch with a friend and had a mimosa. And felt the entire. Sequence of like. I had one drink. Literally one drink and I was knocked on my ass for the rest of the day like. I felt drunk, hungover and super hung over all in the span of like twelve hours and I only had one drink. Like it was. It was actually ridiculous. Luckily I don’t drink that often and I am a social drinker at best. Like I don’t drink on my own like or anything like that. So. Yeah I was lucky that I didn’t
really lose anything by not being able to
drink but it was still like a time. I find that taking meds allows me to get up earlier in the day
which is nice and allows me to get more things
done and it makes it easier to get out
of bed which is so nice. I make to do lists now and I check them which is unlike me and like. I dunno, I’m just a more productive. Overall more baseline. Person. If that makes sense. If you have been thinking about meds you should take them only if you
have a medical team that is supporting
you because being put on meds that aren’t going to work for you. Just to be put on meds might be more
harmful than not being put on meds at all. Luckily again I have the best mental health team in the world so
they’re helping me. Maneuver through this. I think being put on meds has made me a less irritable person. In general. Like my mood swings are a lot less frequent. I still get annoyed and irritated but it’s not. To the degree that I was getting
annoyed and irritated before. Which was nice. And yeah. I don’t know. I’m just a better in a better place now, I hope you guys can see that February was when I started the SSRI which is why y’all barely got videos. But last month I did all
eight. So like we’re getting there. It’s progress. Thank you so much for making my
average view count per video last month. Two hundred views. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. For almost sixteen hundred subscribers. Hopefully we can hit 2K this month. Yeah I am going to vidcon So if you are going to vidcon and you would like to meet me please
comment down below. That is a confirmed thing I am going
to vidcon So please let me know if you want to meet me. That’s happening in July from July
10th to 13th. Yeah. I don’t know. Let’s just check in with each other in the comments. Let me know how you’re doing. Let me know what’s going on. And let’s support each other as we
always do. If you haven’t liked my photos over on Instagram what are you doing. Please go do
that for me. And I think that’s it mermaids. If you want to join the mermaid
kingdom all of my social media links are down in the description, If you want to subscribe, there’s a subscribe button down there there is also notification bell that you can hit so that you can know whenever I upload if you want to support me with your dollars you can go ahead and do that over on Patreon, for one
dollar a month you get early videos for five dollars a month you get an extra video so just keep swimming, sigue nadando, and I’ll see you Saturday, bye!

About Bill McCormick

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